Im sick of double standards!!
My wife buys a "rampant rabbit with attachments" and she is seen as a 'naughty fun girl with a special new toy'.
But when i order a '240volt deluxe fistmaster 5000 latex revolving pussy with realistic elasticated anus, imitation sh!t dribble, semen collection tray, and a built in sadistic rape sound system'
Then that supposedly makes me some kind of pervert!
So im standing at the bar and this little chinese guy is stood at the side of me,
So i asked him "do you know martial arts like Kun-Fu and Ju-Jitsu..."
He replied "why u ask me that, is it because i'm chinese?!"
I said "NO!, its because your drinking my f**king beer you little bastard!"
Another GREAT day!! been to the gym, had a nice shower and ive just picked up a bottle of home brew off a neighbour for this afternoon
Ive got a few joints rolled up for the X-box tournament with the lads, after which i'll muck about online with some porn and gambling sites then a nice blowjob before i head off to bed
I LOVE prison
Ive been in hospital all this morning, i was having a mole removed from my penis.... now im on my final warning from the R.S.P.C.A
A couple driving home and run over a possum, they get out and find its still breathing but freezing cold. Husband says "put it between your legs to warm it up"
Wife replies "but its all wet and it stinks", he says "well hold the possums nose then"
I say on the train this morning opposite a stunning thai girl...
I kept thinking to myself, please dont get an erection, please dont get an erection...
But she did
I couldnt find that f**ken this that peels the carrots and potatos
So i asked the kids if they'd seen it...
Apparently she left me yesterday