Funny Jokes

[EVO-00X]

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.

Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'

The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'

'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.

'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.

'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.

'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.

'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan.

'Yep,' was the calm reply.

'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.

' Nope,' said the old man

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'

The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[bazeng]

LOL

Good one Rob!

 

[milkandoj]

"Do you know who i am?"

Lol this has been posted before but this joke made me think of this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw

 

[Gianni]

That is freekin funny video

 

[milkandoj]

That is freekin funny video

Oi! You gotta give credit to his joke to! lol

 

[AdamD]

HAhaa. Nice! Here we go.



Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize for physics?
Because he was outstanding in his field.


*tumble weed*

 

[Gianni]

Tis a pretty good joke.

*WARNING* This one isn't for the young people *WARNING*

SICK JOKE OF THE YR AWARD - A little boy comes into the kitchen one day and says to his mum "Granny's got a prawn!" The mother says "What on earth do you mean?" The boy takes his mother and shows her Granny, stark naked asleep on the sofa. He points to grandma's protruding clitoris and says, "Granny's got a prawn!" His mother whispers "That's your grandmother's clitoris son!" To which the little boy replies...."Well it tastes like a prawn!"

 

[brettu26]

my mother sent me these today...

* I'm living next door to a muslim couple at the moment. They have 3 little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing to you while the kettle boils!

* Can you spare just R2.00? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Zambia .He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just R2.00, we will send you the video - its hilarious .

* I'm sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations; Just had one from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful.

* There's a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: its called Trycoxagain.

*In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa

*One of the other questions was to name two things commonly found in cells. It appears that Nigerians and Zimbabweans is not the correct answer

*George Clooney is to star in a new film about Gary Glitter,called "Oh, She's Eleven."

*There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets

*You can say lots of bad things about paedophiles but at least theydrive slowly past schools

 

[3zercrowd]

Funny, but these belong in the NWS section

 

[youda]

Ivan Molat was taking his new girlfriend for a walk through the bush. he notices her looking around and puts his arm around her. "thankyou" she said, "I was feeling a little scared". Ivan Molat looked at her and said "your scared I've gotta walk back by myself!!!."