Benzo4gT
Operator
Not gonna tag this rant! I'm sure there are more than one of us on this forum who have lives that are harder to deal with than the average male. As a person who undertook a trade at the ripe age of 18 and worked their guts out for 15 or more years to get somewhere only to lose my shit and end up in hospital for 10 days with nothing to show for it, I feel I have some credence to my words.
I have suffered through all manner of abuse you could imagine from birth till the age of 7, and I'm serious when I say ALL manner, not ashamed of it because I wasn't the person handing it out. It's just the way it is in my world. I have a son who I thought would be the one thing to make my world complete, only to discover he has Aspergers syndrome and only prefers the company of his mother. He has no concern for me which is part of how Aspergers syndrome manifests itself. He has to be coached to even acknowledge me. I am currently undergoing a degree in nursing to improve myself and get a better job, which is kinda easy for me because I have an IQ above 150, Trust me when I say it doesn't mean shit in this world, I write 4 assignments before i'm satisfied with any one of them, most struggle with one!
I am crying as I write this and not ashamed of it because this is what real men are made of. F!^k societal norms!
If anyone else feels my pain, my heart and soul goes out to you, you are part of a group that makes part of those who I regard as friends.
For those that think I'm a pansy winger, you'd better hope you don't say it to my face if we ever meet, I'm proud to be a man with emotions and have learnt how to cop a beating. I've been hospitalised over 20 times in the '70s and early '80s for anything from cuts and bruises to burns and internal bleeding, all of which were swept away under other guises. I feel kinda embarrassed to speak of this stuff, but at least I have the balls to say it.
I don't seem to fit anywhere in this world.
I have been misdiagnosed with bipolar to depression to aspergers syndrome, none of which make my life any better, My cholesterol has gone from 3.1 to 7.6 in less than a year due to the medication I've been prescribed. It will take me more than two years to wean myself off this stuff. I'd love to say it's all good and pretend it won't happen to me, but it looks like it is, and could happen to any of us.
I hope as many of you can reads this and at least take something away from it, can't begin to think of what it is, but I hope it's something.
Always standing tall,
Ben.
I have suffered through all manner of abuse you could imagine from birth till the age of 7, and I'm serious when I say ALL manner, not ashamed of it because I wasn't the person handing it out. It's just the way it is in my world. I have a son who I thought would be the one thing to make my world complete, only to discover he has Aspergers syndrome and only prefers the company of his mother. He has no concern for me which is part of how Aspergers syndrome manifests itself. He has to be coached to even acknowledge me. I am currently undergoing a degree in nursing to improve myself and get a better job, which is kinda easy for me because I have an IQ above 150, Trust me when I say it doesn't mean shit in this world, I write 4 assignments before i'm satisfied with any one of them, most struggle with one!
I am crying as I write this and not ashamed of it because this is what real men are made of. F!^k societal norms!
If anyone else feels my pain, my heart and soul goes out to you, you are part of a group that makes part of those who I regard as friends.
For those that think I'm a pansy winger, you'd better hope you don't say it to my face if we ever meet, I'm proud to be a man with emotions and have learnt how to cop a beating. I've been hospitalised over 20 times in the '70s and early '80s for anything from cuts and bruises to burns and internal bleeding, all of which were swept away under other guises. I feel kinda embarrassed to speak of this stuff, but at least I have the balls to say it.
I don't seem to fit anywhere in this world.
I have been misdiagnosed with bipolar to depression to aspergers syndrome, none of which make my life any better, My cholesterol has gone from 3.1 to 7.6 in less than a year due to the medication I've been prescribed. It will take me more than two years to wean myself off this stuff. I'd love to say it's all good and pretend it won't happen to me, but it looks like it is, and could happen to any of us.
I hope as many of you can reads this and at least take something away from it, can't begin to think of what it is, but I hope it's something.
Always standing tall,
Ben.