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4g joke thread

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#61
evo-gsr

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Lol !!!!!!!!! :thumbsup:


[qoute name="BMGTZ" post="331212" timestamp="1467451744"]I don't know anything ...
Trust in the master of taxis.... He will set you straight[/quote]

#62
Geo&Kez

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An Australian electrician dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A band is playing, the angels are singing, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.

Just when he thinks things can't possibly get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, "Congratulations son, we've been waiting a long time for you."

Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the sparky sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family and I tried to obey the Ten commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don't remember doing anything really special when I was alive. Is it because I'm an electrician - the Royalty of all Trades?"

"Congratulations for what?" says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man's modesty. "We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!"

The electrician is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but I only lived to be forty."

"No, that's simply impossible, son," says Saint Peter. "We've added up your time sheets."


I HATE BEING BIPOLAR........IT'S AWESOME!!

#63
jack be nimble

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Not sure sparkys go to human heaven
4g93t jumbuck conversion. PRANGED 18/3/12, CHECK MY MEMBER RIDES Page 11. no serious human injuries.
ON THE ENGINE STAND. g4cs 2.4l + Gt35r. PLUS: auto conversion + Awd coming.
thanks for parts and help: BMGTZ, EVOCPE, cwolf, Benozi, Jamo-GSR, 1JUM2NV, RXVII..much appreciated, cheers guys.
Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. —Enzo Ferrari
REMEMBER: you cant polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.

#64
Geo&Kez

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We had an outage at my place this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & my new surround sound music system were all shut down.

Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off it was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf.

I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power, so I sat down and talked with my wife for a few hours.

 

She seems like a nice person.


I HATE BEING BIPOLAR........IT'S AWESOME!!

#65
jack be nimble

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Did she like the tazer?
4g93t jumbuck conversion. PRANGED 18/3/12, CHECK MY MEMBER RIDES Page 11. no serious human injuries.
ON THE ENGINE STAND. g4cs 2.4l + Gt35r. PLUS: auto conversion + Awd coming.
thanks for parts and help: BMGTZ, EVOCPE, cwolf, Benozi, Jamo-GSR, 1JUM2NV, RXVII..much appreciated, cheers guys.
Aerodynamics are for people who can't build engines. —Enzo Ferrari
REMEMBER: you cant polish a turd, but you can roll it in glitter.

#66
Geo&Kez

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Well, the tazer wasn't charged either, so I used some of Jamos horse tranqs. Took a bit, but she finally went down.
I HATE BEING BIPOLAR........IT'S AWESOME!!

#67
Geo&Kez

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The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers ....... so I did....
 
she's 19 and her name's Lucy.

I HATE BEING BIPOLAR........IT'S AWESOME!!

#68
evo-gsr

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Pics of Lucys tits?
[qoute name="BMGTZ" post="331212" timestamp="1467451744"]I don't know anything ...
Trust in the master of taxis.... He will set you straight[/quote]

#69
Geo&Kez

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I'll get on that Jamo, soon as the swelling on my face goes down. Tip for young players, don't tick 'remember me' on your forum login if your wife shares your computer.


I HATE BEING BIPOLAR........IT'S AWESOME!!

#70
Geo&Kez

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Picture of me and Lucy

 

*Rethought posting that image, mods may object.*

 

Can be seen here thou. http://xxxbunker.com...y_fat_guy-4.jpg


Edited by Geo&Kez, 06 April 2014 - 05:18 AM.

I HATE BEING BIPOLAR........IT'S AWESOME!!

#71
evo-gsr

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Nice mullet...you should borrow a pair of Jacks stubbies...will really look the part hanging out the front of the schoolyard then.
[qoute name="BMGTZ" post="331212" timestamp="1467451744"]I don't know anything ...
Trust in the master of taxis.... He will set you straight[/quote]

#72
MDK87

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Picture of me and Lucy

 

*Rethought posting that image, mods may object.*

 

Can be seen here thou. http://xxxbunker.com...y_fat_guy-4.jpg

 

:o My eyes! My eyes!! :(

I'm bored. Jack, say something funny. 



#73
MDK87

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:thumbsdown:



#74
OLDIE

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The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers ....... so I did....
 
she's 19 and her name's Lucy.

 

 LOL  seems like the best kind of PE to get .


Edited by OLDIE, 07 April 2014 - 08:23 PM.


#75
p055um5

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.

For his birthday, little Aldo asked for a 10-speed bicycle.. His father said, 'Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it.' The next day the father saw little Aldo heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he   asked, 'Son, where are you going?' Little  Aldo told him; 'I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too.  And I'll be damned if I'm staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no Fucking bike!

 


Edited by p055um5, 10 April 2014 - 11:34 AM.

97 RVR HSG, ACL RACE SERIES FORGED PISTONS, EAGLE 3D H-BEAM FORGED RODS, ACL RACE SERIES BIG END / ROD BEARINGS, ACL RACE SERIES MAIN BEARINGS, ARP MIAN STUDS, Walbro GSS342 Fuel Pump, Siemens 870cc/min Injector, HALTECH E8 ECU

#76
evo-gsr

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Lol!
[qoute name="BMGTZ" post="331212" timestamp="1467451744"]I don't know anything ...
Trust in the master of taxis.... He will set you straight[/quote]

#77
p055um5

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I was reading an article last night about fathers

and sons and memories came flooding back of

the time I took my son out for his first pint.

Got him a Fosters ..... he didn't like it - I had it.

Then I got him Carlsberg, he didn't like it so I had it.

It was the same with Guinness and Cider.

By the time we got down to the whisky I could

hardly push the bloody pram home.


97 RVR HSG, ACL RACE SERIES FORGED PISTONS, EAGLE 3D H-BEAM FORGED RODS, ACL RACE SERIES BIG END / ROD BEARINGS, ACL RACE SERIES MAIN BEARINGS, ARP MIAN STUDS, Walbro GSS342 Fuel Pump, Siemens 870cc/min Injector, HALTECH E8 ECU

#78
penngwyne

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My Grandfather was badly burned yesterday

*
*
They don't f**k about in that crematorium

 

 

When I go I want to go like my grandfather.

Peacefully in his sleep

*

*

Not screaming in terror like his passengers.


Still love the RVR but am paranoid about little noises


#79
AnmanIndustries

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My Grandfather was badly burned yesterday

*
*
They don't f**k about in that crematorium

 

 

Yeeeesssssssssss



#80
Geo&Kez

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Off another forum. Bit funny

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1400670493.955964.jpg
I HATE BEING BIPOLAR........IT'S AWESOME!!


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