29 replies to this topic

[Benzo4gT]

Not gonna tag this rant! I'm sure there are more than one of us on this forum who have lives that are harder to deal with than the average male. As a person who undertook a trade at the ripe age of 18 and worked their guts out for 15 or more years to get somewhere only to lose my shit and end up in hospital for 10 days with nothing to show for it, I feel I have some credence to my words.
I have suffered through all manner of abuse you could imagine from birth till the age of 7, and I'm serious when I say ALL manner, not ashamed of it because I wasn't the person handing it out. It's just the way it is in my world. I have a son who I thought would be the one thing to make my world complete, only to discover he has Aspergers syndrome and only prefers the company of his mother. He has no concern for me which is part of how Aspergers syndrome manifests itself. He has to be coached to even acknowledge me. I am currently undergoing a degree in nursing to improve myself and get a better job, which is kinda easy for me because I have an IQ above 150, Trust me when I say it doesn't mean shit in this world, I write 4 assignments before i'm satisfied with any one of them, most struggle with one!
I am crying as I write this and not ashamed of it because this is what real men are made of. F!^k societal norms!
If anyone else feels my pain, my heart and soul goes out to you, you are part of a group that makes part of those who I regard as friends.
For those that think I'm a pansy winger, you'd better hope you don't say it to my face if we ever meet, I'm proud to be a man with emotions and have learnt how to cop a beating. I've been hospitalised over 20 times in the '70s and early '80s for anything from cuts and bruises to burns and internal bleeding, all of which were swept away under other guises. I feel kinda embarrassed to speak of this stuff, but at least I have the balls to say it.
I don't seem to fit anywhere in this world.
I have been misdiagnosed with bipolar to depression to aspergers syndrome, none of which make my life any better, My cholesterol has gone from 3.1 to 7.6 in less than a year due to the medication I've been prescribed. It will take me more than two years to wean myself off this stuff. I'd love to say it's all good and pretend it won't happen to me, but it looks like it is, and could happen to any of us.
I hope as many of you can reads this and at least take something away from it, can't begin to think of what it is, but I hope it's something.

Always standing tall,
Ben.

[ted]

My hat off to you Ben for what you have been through, i havent had the easiest life either but always kept my head up and try and do right by others.
Being able to talk about things and show emotion gets lost among men. Keep kicking on man!! .....Also i believe my I.Q. is half of yours

[Geo&Kez]

I reckon you fit in pretty good here Ben.

Personally think your a funny man with a wicked sense of humor. You laugh at the shit that I thinks funny, and don't really know if that's a good thing on your behalf but it's good to know I'm not alone!!

Some one said to me once "If you cant see the light at the end of the tunnel, go down there and light the fucker yourself."

That attitude has been working for me for years, Keep fighting through brother, and never give up.

[Benzo4gT]

Some one said to me once "If you cant see the light at the end of the tunnel, go down there and light the fucker yourself."

That is so going to be put on one of my Uni t-shirts!
Thanks so much for the support and responses, as real men we all need to stand together to deal with all that influences and pains us, whether it be no contact from our paternal fathers, to abuse to anything else that hurts us. Be strong and proud! Women have made massive movements that gain support from all sectors of the community, it's about time us blokes stand up strong and be counted!

[jack be nimble]

My mrs says I have assburgers. But I failed the test...

Hey, as long as all the fingers and toes are in the correct place and every morning the wanger is hard enough to bounce a 50c bit off. There is others plenty worse off.

And noone is shooting at us.

Gotta be thankful for what we have,
Cheers bro

[Benzo4gT]

My mrs says I have assburgers. But I failed the test...

Hey, as long as all the fingers and toes are in the correct place and every morning the wanger is hard enough to bounce a 50c bit off. There is others plenty worse off.

And noone is shooting at us.

Gotta be thankful for what we have,
Cheers bro

As always Jack, a great response. 50c piece? well done, I must say I'm proportionate also, 5' 11" 97kg, don't personally use currency to establish turgidity, but hey, whatever foates your boat lol

[BMGTZ]

Ive done my share of shit....some I would like to forget but cant

been dealt some good and bad hands and played them anyway

now I believe if only one person dislikes you....you will wonder why. if every one thinks you are a turd you can get away with an awful lot.

once there was a time when I took pills to keep other people from getting hurt....now take take them so I dont get hurt.

life is a wonderful journey

[deepsouth]

Benzo, you are a top bloke, I can't say I know you,but I do know that man your sense of humour is awesome !!!
Coming from a family similar to your circumstances, I've learnt you need to have a sense of humour.
Your Son will come around, my best friend has a son with Aspergers and he is only now, at the age of 4 starting to develop some sort of recognition of anyone other than mom.
That same best friends father who was a good friend of my father, took his own life because his life as he saw it got too much for him. This same friend has also developed an anxiety disorder that stems from bottling up issues and stresses at work. Two years later and plenty of meds and the right doctor he is finally on the right track.
He took your path and spoke out to all of his close friends and let us know something wasn't right. We've all laughed, cried and stuck it out and become better for it and my friend is still with us today thankfully!
It may seem manly to hold it in, but it's manlier to let it out.
I applaud your decision to speak out, it shows the character of person you are that despite the challenges life has thrown your way, you have overcome them and are now looking out for others wellbeing.
Stay strong and know you aren't alone

[BMGTZ]

My mrs says I have assburgers. But I failed the test...

Hey, as long as all the fingers and toes are in the correct place and every morning the wanger is hard enough to bounce a 50c bit off. There is others plenty worse off.

And noone is shooting at us.

Gotta be thankful for what we have,
Cheers bro

Im never accepting a fifty cent piece in my change again jack!!

[jack be nimble]

Yknow that $50 hush money from george...
All in 50c bits...
Yep.

[jack be nimble]

We were playing 50c stick cricket the other morning...
Sorry about the broken vase too geo, I thought that was a catch for sure

[Benzo4gT]

Im never accepting a fifty cent piece in my change again jack!!

You really don't want to know what he does with folding currency then!

[Geo&Kez]

Gezz Jack......... what happened to 'what happens when playing stick cricket, is never spoken of again'??

Anyway while we are on the subject, the Russian chick brought back the bag of fifty pieces, and the old duck next door doesn't want Brian's cat anymore, she says it smells funny.

We'll have to do it again one day, was fun.

[jack be nimble]

Does the cat smell like the folding currency

[BMGTZ]

Gezz Jack......... what happened to 'what happens when playing stick cricket, is never spoken of again'??

Anyway while we are on the subject, the Russian chick brought back the bag of fifty pieces, and the old duck next door doesn't want Brian's cat anymore, she says it smells funny.

We'll have to do it again one day, was fun.

damn cat gets around....bastard hasnt been home for a feed in months. So has the russian been rubbing my cat against her pussy? something smells a bit fishy anout that story....

[Benzo4gT]

I don't completely understand the whole story, but if it involves a russain, Brian's cat, folding currency of suspicious origin, stick cricket and the old duck next door, I can't wait to see the video

[Geo&Kez]

Sorry Ben, Quinton Tarantino just got the rights to that movie, he says it will be called............. Reservoir Cats - Pulped Pussies.....

You'll have to wait for the DVD.

[True TJ]

it seems like a few people here have gone through rough times i guess we are all drawn together over similar bonds maybe? i cant say im worse off or better off then any other as its not my place to say whos had it worse, i dont know what people are hiding behind there smiles, if its anything like me my smile is normally false and for other peoples benefit, i dont want people to have to worry about me on top of there own behind the scenes dramas But in saying that, getting out whats keeping you down means you can have someone to lift you back up

my dad was going through a hard time and told me
"we all fall at some point, thats the problem with walking on your 2 legs, but put your hand out and others can keep you steady."

i seem to have the 3 bad to 1 good ratio problem, as in i get married in just over a week(1 good), and my partners grandma just died, my partner got made redundent 3 weeks ago, my cat ive had for 21 years died a just over month ago.

but ya know what, on my wedding day im going to celebrate that weve got through everything, im STILL here and i plan to be for alot longer, so with all those years to go, my problems are just marathon, i hate training for it, i hate doing it, but once its finnally over, i can look back and say i got through it

[Benzo4gT]

We all cop the heavy end at times, I really do feel for you True TJ, and you have got a great outlook about things. It's sad to hear you have had a few crappy things happen all at once, but you'll be a married man in a week and that's awesome, you must be stoked!
I'm a doing a degree in Nursing and one of the main reasons I want to be a Nurse is to care for people, and to really offer support to men in the hospital setting when times get real tough. We are all guilty of holding our emotions in at times, it comes out differently depending on the person.

We can all stand tall and speak our thoughts, some will be ones of a sad nature, some will be great. Just have to get it out if it needs to come out, if some of us on here can put together gearboxes and rebuild engines and fully rewire a cars loom and all the other fun stuff we do, then we're all capable of putting our hands out when one of us goes through a tough time.
I certainly know the comments on this thread have helped me feel a lot more positive about things, it's great to feel like there's great blokes that have been there before to tell you it's gonna be ok.

[Benzo4gT]

Sorry Ben, Quinton Tarantino just got the rights to that movie, he says it will be called............. Reservoir Cats - Pulped Pussies.....

You'll have to wait for the DVD.

I really mis-timed a sip of coffee when I read that! Well at least my computer area smells of something different now!